Today was the first day of my 10 week "body makeover" challenge. I woke up at 4am (the day after DST starts - woof.) so that I could attend the 5am assessment. For the record, I will normally be attending a post-work time slot, because there ain't no way my ass is getting up at 4am for the next 10 weeks.
I had minimal information walking into the building this morning. I knew that there would be some fitness testing and I knew that I would have to have my "before" photo taken. They had sent a welcome email out a week or so ago, and it said I could wear either a "two piece swimsuit" (baaaaahahahahahaha!) or "shorts and a sports tank". I opted for the latter, since I haven't worn a two piece swimsuit since 1999. And I probably shouldn't have worn one since 1997. Other than that, I really wasn't sure what to expect.
I walked in and scanned the crowd, immediately trying to pick out anyone who might weigh the same as or more than me. There were a few people who looked like they would qualify as obese, but most people just looked moderately out of shape. There were a few hardcore athletic types, including a 50-year-old woman with Madonna-esque guns, bleach blonde hair and a tan that would make Fabio weep with envy. I found a spot next to the fattest person in the room, hoping I would look normal next to them.
The assessment, it turns out, was to consist of several stations, designed a lot like those Presidential Fitness Tests you did in school. There was a sit-up station, a push-up station, the sit-and-reach, chin-ups, planks and a wall sit. You also got weight, had measurements done, and then the dreaded picture. I completed all the physical tests, trying not to look too out of shape. My results were:
Sit-ups - did 47 in one minute
Wall sit - held for 1 min, 8 sec
Plank - held for 37 seconds
Push-ups - did 20, lady-style on my knees
Chin-up - 0
Sit-and-reach - 11 1/2 inches
I felt ok about most of these numbers, especially the wall sit - I beat out three dudes and all the women in my group. I figure my thighs are probably hella strong, carrying around all my extra weight. The plank was rough, I was the first one down. I honestly didn't even try to do a chin-up - if I couldn't do one in junior high when I weighed 130, I really doubt I'm going to be able to haul 200 more pounds up above that bar.
The measurements were as expected - I don't have those numbers as they kept them in my file, but I'll try to get them updated on here. My weight was a disappointment. I admit, I haven't been doing well the last few weeks. I think since I knew this was coming, I used it as an excuse to relax. As a result, I gained some weight. Oh, boo for me. Anyway, here's the down and dirty:
Weight - 331 lbs
BMI - 47.5
Fat Percentage - 53.4% (holy lord! I'm made up of 50% fat!)
Fat mass - 176.8 lbs
Fat-free mass - 154.2 lbs
Base metabolic rate - 2280 kcal
What does all that mean? Well, clearly I am obese. Ugh.
I was somewhat pleased to see that my fat-free mass (meaning everything in my body except fat, including bones, muscles, organs, etc.) was 154.2. This means I never have to even try for a weight under 150 pounds. And my base metabolic rate? I burn 2280 calories just being. We learn more about nutrition planning later this week.
Having my picture taken was the most humiliating part. They did snapshots in a supply closet, which felt a little dirty. They had my pose face forward, flexing my guns a la Jack LaLanne, then to the side, and then from behind. After she finished taking my picture, the girl with the camera commented, "Well, you have to start somewhere." I almost throat-punched her.
Overall, it was eye-opening - I'm excited to see what the next 10 weeks bring. Tomorrow is "plyometrics", which is a fancy word for cardio. I'm nervous, since I'm already sore just from the assessment this morning. I see lots of stretching (and maybe a few massages) in my future.
Wish me luck! Oh, and for your viewing pleasure, a few "before" pictures that I snapped in my powder room. Beware, you can't unsee these.
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