Last week was week two of my challenge.
It was a way wimpy week.
On Friday the 19th I came home with a scratchy, dry throat. By Saturday morning, I was full-on sick. I spent the entire weekend on the couch in a blanket cocoon, watching "Jersey Shore" reruns and occasionally calling out, "I'm dyyyyyying!", to anyone who would listen. The dogs were greatly sympathetic and took post on the couch with me, occasionally licking my feet and my fingers (really their only method of comforting others).
I managed to make it to work on Monday, but I couldn't bring myself to exercise in front of people. I knew it would involve a great deal of wheezing and hacking and sniffling, and I wouldn't want to be next to me in a gym. I missed Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday - by Thursday, I was still sick, but I knew I couldn't miss another class. So I trudged into my kickboxing class, all doped up on Sudafed and Robitussin.
The class was rough - we had a pint-sized instructor, and she was whirling around the bags like a mini-Mike Tyson on speed. Things had definitely increased in intensity during the second week, and I had been vacationing in Sofa City since last week. I tried to imagine that I was punching and kicking my germs away, hehe.
Friday was a lower body workout - the leg work isn't terrible, though my thighs and calves were trembling by the time we were done. It's the ab work that nearly killed me. Side planks, bicycles, none of those moves got any easier this time around.
I'm still sick - I can't believe it's been over a week! The cough has subsided a little bit, but I'm battling vertigo from all the congestion in my head.
The good news is I have pretty much no appetite. I can't taste anything, and the only thing that's appealing is chicken noodle soup. I've eaten cans of Campbells for the majority of my meals over the last 10 days. I'm sure my sodium intake is through the roof, but I'm keeping those calories down!
Monday, March 28, 2011
Friday, March 18, 2011
Plyo-what-trics?
So I'm wrapping up my first week of this crazy 10-week exercise plan. I was already sore after the assessment day on Monday, so I knew the rest of the week would be a treat! After we ended the assessment, the instructor said, "Tomorrow is plyometrics. It's the hardest workout, so drink lots of water and do lots of stretching." Great. Good idea. Make the hardest workout on the first day. It felt like college chemistry, where they try to weed out the dummies in the first week. I was terrified.
I walked in Tuesday after work, all kitted out in my new Old Navy workout gear (cheap and they come in XXL). One hour, 10 minute increments of intense cardio with 1 minute of rest in between. I guess plyometrics is latin for "60 minutes of hell".
I walked in Tuesday after work, all kitted out in my new Old Navy workout gear (cheap and they come in XXL). One hour, 10 minute increments of intense cardio with 1 minute of rest in between. I guess plyometrics is latin for "60 minutes of hell".
The class involved a LOT of jumping. Jumping in the air. Let's just say it's not easy to vertically propel 330 pounds off the ground. The jumping jacks were probably the worst. While most people feel comfortable waving their hands in the air (like they just don't care), I kept mine firmly anchored next to my chest. Despite two sports bras, my assets were not very secure with all the leaping around.
The second worst exercise was the burpie. What's a burpie, you may ask? If you were involved in the sadistic torture of adolescents known as high school athletics, you're probably familiar. For the rest of you, the burpie is an exercise that starts in a push-up pose. You fling your feet back, do a push-up, tuck your legs back in, leap up in the air, then crouch down, fling your legs out, and do another push-up. Rinse and repeat. Or at least that's how it's supposed to go. Mine look a little more like this: slowly lower self to ground, struggle to do one push-up on knees, struggle back up to feet, hurl self a few inches off the ground, wipe sweat from brow, slowly lower self to ground, struggle into push-up position, lower self a few inches on shaking arms...you get the idea. There's a reason I stay in the back of the room!
Wednesday was an upper body workout. Kettlebells, push-ups, pathetic attempts at chin-ups, and a variety of ab exercises that made me want to weep. I can crunch until the cows come home, but these workouts involved holding myself in very uncomfortable positions. Planks, side planks, holding my legs in the air at odd angles. I left that class with every muscle from my waist up shaking.
Yesterday was kickboxing. Now this one I really enjoyed. We got wraps and gloves, and I went to town on that punching bag. Jab, cross, hook, knee, roundhouse kick! I felt like a fat and less-intense Chuck Norris.
Today? I am sore. So sore. It hurts to lower myself to the toilet. The stairs make me want to cry. But that must mean it's working, right? Honestly, for all the kvetching, the feedback from my body is good. Today is a lower body workout, and tomorrow I finish out the week with yoga. I'm excited to see how much stronger I'll become over the next 9 weeks!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Smooth Operator
My favorite breakfast was, is and always will be a delicious fruit smoothie. A couple of years ago, I started a clean eating cleanse. I purged sugar, alcohol, meat, dairy and even gluten from my diet for 21 days - I'm still not sure how I did it. I'm convinced the only reason I was successful is because I wasn't married. The husband wouldn't let me throw out all the milk and booze these days! Anyway, it was during that time that I came up with my ultimate smoothie recipe. With my super-duper workout schedule, I've decided to dust off the blender and bring it back - along with a few modifications. The recipe is:
1 cup organic soy milk (any milk will do here, cow, soy, almond, etc.)
1 scoop vanilla EAS protein powder
1 banana
1/4 cup frozen unsweetened blueberries
1/2 cup frozen unsweetened strawberries
I start with the banana and the milk and blend until the banana chunks are gone and the milk is frothy. Then add the protein powder and give the blender another punch. Now you can add your frozen fruit, and blend until your smoothie is a delicious pinky/purple color. This makes a pretty good serving - it fills my big pint glass and then some. The protein powder is not my favorite, it adds a grainy texture to the smoothie - but I know I'll need it with the strain I'm putting on my muscles! If you decide to do without the powder, I recommend about a tablespoon of agave nectar to sweeten things up a bit. Yummy!
Now post intense workout, you might want a little energy boost to help you recover. I like to do my Elvis special! The recipe:
1 cup (ice cold) soy milk (again, any milk product will do)
1 scoop chocolate EAS protein powder
1 banana
1 scant tablespoon of natural peanut butter
1/4 cup of ice
Throw the ingredients in the blender until smooth and enjoy! The ice measurement is a guesstimate - basically you just need a li'l somethin' somethin' to make this nice and cold. Trust me, a room temperature smoothie is nothing but nasty. Between the protein in the powder and the peanut butter and the potassium in the banana, your muscles will be singing your praises! (**disclaimer - I am neither a nutritionist nor a dietician nor a trainer nor a person with any kind of special training or knowledge about sports nutrition. Just saying.)
1 cup organic soy milk (any milk will do here, cow, soy, almond, etc.)
1 scoop vanilla EAS protein powder
1 banana
1/4 cup frozen unsweetened blueberries
1/2 cup frozen unsweetened strawberries
I start with the banana and the milk and blend until the banana chunks are gone and the milk is frothy. Then add the protein powder and give the blender another punch. Now you can add your frozen fruit, and blend until your smoothie is a delicious pinky/purple color. This makes a pretty good serving - it fills my big pint glass and then some. The protein powder is not my favorite, it adds a grainy texture to the smoothie - but I know I'll need it with the strain I'm putting on my muscles! If you decide to do without the powder, I recommend about a tablespoon of agave nectar to sweeten things up a bit. Yummy!
Now post intense workout, you might want a little energy boost to help you recover. I like to do my Elvis special! The recipe:
1 cup (ice cold) soy milk (again, any milk product will do)
1 scoop chocolate EAS protein powder
1 banana
1 scant tablespoon of natural peanut butter
1/4 cup of ice
Throw the ingredients in the blender until smooth and enjoy! The ice measurement is a guesstimate - basically you just need a li'l somethin' somethin' to make this nice and cold. Trust me, a room temperature smoothie is nothing but nasty. Between the protein in the powder and the peanut butter and the potassium in the banana, your muscles will be singing your praises! (**disclaimer - I am neither a nutritionist nor a dietician nor a trainer nor a person with any kind of special training or knowledge about sports nutrition. Just saying.)
Monday, March 14, 2011
Day One
Today was the first day of my 10 week "body makeover" challenge. I woke up at 4am (the day after DST starts - woof.) so that I could attend the 5am assessment. For the record, I will normally be attending a post-work time slot, because there ain't no way my ass is getting up at 4am for the next 10 weeks.
I had minimal information walking into the building this morning. I knew that there would be some fitness testing and I knew that I would have to have my "before" photo taken. They had sent a welcome email out a week or so ago, and it said I could wear either a "two piece swimsuit" (baaaaahahahahahaha!) or "shorts and a sports tank". I opted for the latter, since I haven't worn a two piece swimsuit since 1999. And I probably shouldn't have worn one since 1997. Other than that, I really wasn't sure what to expect.
I walked in and scanned the crowd, immediately trying to pick out anyone who might weigh the same as or more than me. There were a few people who looked like they would qualify as obese, but most people just looked moderately out of shape. There were a few hardcore athletic types, including a 50-year-old woman with Madonna-esque guns, bleach blonde hair and a tan that would make Fabio weep with envy. I found a spot next to the fattest person in the room, hoping I would look normal next to them.
The assessment, it turns out, was to consist of several stations, designed a lot like those Presidential Fitness Tests you did in school. There was a sit-up station, a push-up station, the sit-and-reach, chin-ups, planks and a wall sit. You also got weight, had measurements done, and then the dreaded picture. I completed all the physical tests, trying not to look too out of shape. My results were:
Sit-ups - did 47 in one minute
Wall sit - held for 1 min, 8 sec
Plank - held for 37 seconds
Push-ups - did 20, lady-style on my knees
Chin-up - 0
Sit-and-reach - 11 1/2 inches
I felt ok about most of these numbers, especially the wall sit - I beat out three dudes and all the women in my group. I figure my thighs are probably hella strong, carrying around all my extra weight. The plank was rough, I was the first one down. I honestly didn't even try to do a chin-up - if I couldn't do one in junior high when I weighed 130, I really doubt I'm going to be able to haul 200 more pounds up above that bar.
The measurements were as expected - I don't have those numbers as they kept them in my file, but I'll try to get them updated on here. My weight was a disappointment. I admit, I haven't been doing well the last few weeks. I think since I knew this was coming, I used it as an excuse to relax. As a result, I gained some weight. Oh, boo for me. Anyway, here's the down and dirty:
Weight - 331 lbs
BMI - 47.5
Fat Percentage - 53.4% (holy lord! I'm made up of 50% fat!)
Fat mass - 176.8 lbs
Fat-free mass - 154.2 lbs
Base metabolic rate - 2280 kcal
What does all that mean? Well, clearly I am obese. Ugh.
I was somewhat pleased to see that my fat-free mass (meaning everything in my body except fat, including bones, muscles, organs, etc.) was 154.2. This means I never have to even try for a weight under 150 pounds. And my base metabolic rate? I burn 2280 calories just being. We learn more about nutrition planning later this week.
Having my picture taken was the most humiliating part. They did snapshots in a supply closet, which felt a little dirty. They had my pose face forward, flexing my guns a la Jack LaLanne, then to the side, and then from behind. After she finished taking my picture, the girl with the camera commented, "Well, you have to start somewhere." I almost throat-punched her.
Overall, it was eye-opening - I'm excited to see what the next 10 weeks bring. Tomorrow is "plyometrics", which is a fancy word for cardio. I'm nervous, since I'm already sore just from the assessment this morning. I see lots of stretching (and maybe a few massages) in my future.
Wish me luck! Oh, and for your viewing pleasure, a few "before" pictures that I snapped in my powder room. Beware, you can't unsee these.
I had minimal information walking into the building this morning. I knew that there would be some fitness testing and I knew that I would have to have my "before" photo taken. They had sent a welcome email out a week or so ago, and it said I could wear either a "two piece swimsuit" (baaaaahahahahahaha!) or "shorts and a sports tank". I opted for the latter, since I haven't worn a two piece swimsuit since 1999. And I probably shouldn't have worn one since 1997. Other than that, I really wasn't sure what to expect.
I walked in and scanned the crowd, immediately trying to pick out anyone who might weigh the same as or more than me. There were a few people who looked like they would qualify as obese, but most people just looked moderately out of shape. There were a few hardcore athletic types, including a 50-year-old woman with Madonna-esque guns, bleach blonde hair and a tan that would make Fabio weep with envy. I found a spot next to the fattest person in the room, hoping I would look normal next to them.
The assessment, it turns out, was to consist of several stations, designed a lot like those Presidential Fitness Tests you did in school. There was a sit-up station, a push-up station, the sit-and-reach, chin-ups, planks and a wall sit. You also got weight, had measurements done, and then the dreaded picture. I completed all the physical tests, trying not to look too out of shape. My results were:
Sit-ups - did 47 in one minute
Wall sit - held for 1 min, 8 sec
Plank - held for 37 seconds
Push-ups - did 20, lady-style on my knees
Chin-up - 0
Sit-and-reach - 11 1/2 inches
I felt ok about most of these numbers, especially the wall sit - I beat out three dudes and all the women in my group. I figure my thighs are probably hella strong, carrying around all my extra weight. The plank was rough, I was the first one down. I honestly didn't even try to do a chin-up - if I couldn't do one in junior high when I weighed 130, I really doubt I'm going to be able to haul 200 more pounds up above that bar.
The measurements were as expected - I don't have those numbers as they kept them in my file, but I'll try to get them updated on here. My weight was a disappointment. I admit, I haven't been doing well the last few weeks. I think since I knew this was coming, I used it as an excuse to relax. As a result, I gained some weight. Oh, boo for me. Anyway, here's the down and dirty:
Weight - 331 lbs
BMI - 47.5
Fat Percentage - 53.4% (holy lord! I'm made up of 50% fat!)
Fat mass - 176.8 lbs
Fat-free mass - 154.2 lbs
Base metabolic rate - 2280 kcal
What does all that mean? Well, clearly I am obese. Ugh.
I was somewhat pleased to see that my fat-free mass (meaning everything in my body except fat, including bones, muscles, organs, etc.) was 154.2. This means I never have to even try for a weight under 150 pounds. And my base metabolic rate? I burn 2280 calories just being. We learn more about nutrition planning later this week.
Having my picture taken was the most humiliating part. They did snapshots in a supply closet, which felt a little dirty. They had my pose face forward, flexing my guns a la Jack LaLanne, then to the side, and then from behind. After she finished taking my picture, the girl with the camera commented, "Well, you have to start somewhere." I almost throat-punched her.
Overall, it was eye-opening - I'm excited to see what the next 10 weeks bring. Tomorrow is "plyometrics", which is a fancy word for cardio. I'm nervous, since I'm already sore just from the assessment this morning. I see lots of stretching (and maybe a few massages) in my future.
Wish me luck! Oh, and for your viewing pleasure, a few "before" pictures that I snapped in my powder room. Beware, you can't unsee these.
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