What a week...

So this has been a little bit of a crazy week, as evidenced by my absence from the blogosphere.

It started with a stressful work week.  My workload has increased significantly, and it's not fun or inspiring work.  It's not improving any kind of skill or aiding in my personal or professional development.  In short, it sucks.  Add to that that my boss is sometimes...well...he's an asshat.  So between longer hours and coming home stressed, I had some slip ups this week (ordered Chinese on Tuesday, ate old cake frosting from the jar with a spoon on Thursday...and Friday...ok, and on Saturday). 

Add to that my severe cabin fever.  I can see why people trapped in remote cabins during blizzards eventually go crazy and eat each other.  At this midpoint in winter, I'm about to snap.  I've gotten downright loopy.  By Sunday this weekend, I wanted out of the house so bad...but yet I didn't want to leave because it was so cold.  My husband was tired of me, and I don't blame him.  I was tired of me too!  On Sunday, he was sitting on the couch catching up on some crappy TV.  I shuffled in, sat down next to him and stared at him.  No response.  Then I started to poke him until he looked at me.  Here's a recap of our conversation:

Me:  I'm hungry.
Darling Husband:  Do you want some lunch?
M:  Yes. 

I continued to sit and stare at him.

DH:  Do you want me to make something?
M:  No.  *sigh*  I'll do it.  What do you want?
DH:  I don't know, what do you want?
M:  Gah!  I don't know!  Make up your mind and I'll make it for you!
DH:  Wow, sorry.  Ok, how about soup?
M:  Ew, no.
DH:  Um, sandwiches?
M:  No.
DH:  Tacos?  Veggie burgers?  Spaghetti?  Lasagna?  Frozen dinners?  Pizza?
M:  No, no, no, no, no, and no.

I stared some more.

M:  I guess I'm not hungry.
M:  *sigh*  I'm bored.
DH:  (not even losing patience yet, the man is a saint)  What do you want to do?
M:  Nothing.
DH:  Why don't you go to your parents?
M:  I don't feel like it.
DH:  Why don't you go hand out with a friend?
M:  I don't have any friends.

He stares back at me. 

DH:  Seriously?

Pretty sure most of our Sunday went something like that.  I can't believe he hasn't locked me in the bathroom yet.  Even the dogs are tired of my seasonal morose - at first I think they enjoyed it, as flopping on the couch and dramatic sighs are pretty much their thing and they finally had someone who enjoyed it as much as they do.  But one of them tried to bite me yesterday when I went to move him off my corner of the couch.

I didn't make it to my Weight Watchers meeting on Wednesday because I was stuck at work late, so I'll be weighing this Wednesday for two weeks.  As much as I hate to admit it, those meetings really do help support my goals and remind me of why I'm doing what I'm doing.  Hopefully I haven't derailed too much.       

On top of all of that, I failed to blog - I see this as an accountability thing, and I admittedly was embarrassed to report that I was...well, I was failing in general all week!

I definitely needed to have a little bit of a "come to Jesus" talk with myself this morning.  I had a doctor's appointment, and was weighed (embarrassing), then when she took my blood pressure, she had to go and fetch the "other cuff" - for those not familiar, there's a bigger cuff if your guns are too big to fit in the normal one.  The normal one actually fits me (barely), but once I tell them my weight at any medical places, I start to get things like a huge robe (at the OB-GYN a few weeks ago, I was actually handed a 5X), larger wheelchairs (I ended up in an urgent care office for a minor injury, the wheelchair they put me in barely fit through the door), etc.  Anyway, it reminded me that I don't want to need special accomodations because of my fat.  I was also reading an article in People while in the waiting room about some folks who had lost half their body weight.  If those chubby kids can do it, I can too!  Inspiring! 

I've refocused - I have a lot to look forward to this week!  Funny enough, the thing I'm most excited about is our first organic produce delivery.  We signed up a few days ago, and on Wednesday we'll get our first order delivered right to our front door.  I bought ingredients to start making our own homemade bread, cutting out all the processed crap that goes into store brands.  I also have a plan to get back on the elliptical starting tonight - I did really good last week and last weekend, but that dropped along with the rest of my focus.  I definitely feel better even with a little bit of exercise.  Finally, I've mapped out where I should be falling in terms of weight loss - when I'll hit my 5% and 10% goals, and when I should reach my ultimate goal if I average 2 pounds a week.  I have them entered in to my Outlook calendar so that each morning I can see where I should be!  It's definitely motivating to look forward and think, "If I do what I know I need to do, by [such and such event] I'll weigh this, or be able to wear this!"  We have big plans this year for travel and events, so I'm looking forward to being thinner for each of them!

Have a great week - I'll be updating more often this week to record my SUCCESS!